Hello, I wanted to see if you would like to come over for dinner?
You would? Ok, great!
Although… I should probably warn you…
While I’m boiling the noodles, Amelia will probably dump out the entire salt shaker onto the dinner table.
And while I’m making the sauce, she’ll fall out of her chair and bump her head, so the cheese I just stirred into my sauce will turn into a gloopy mess. The cheese will stick to the spoon. I hate when the cheese sticks to the spoon.
When I get back to the kitchen to stir my gloopy sauce, Sofi will probably start having a fit because she doesn’t want to wait for her food anymore. So I’ll put her in her chair and give her slimy peas. Once I realize what I’ve done, I’ll take them away and you will have to endure the hysterical sobbing until I can find another vegetable to give her.
When I go to drain the noodles, Piper the cat will throw up on the kitchen floor. So I’ll have to clean it up. And somewhere along the way I will probably knock the salad bowl into the sink. Our salad will be reduced by half.
When I finally get dinner to the table, Amelia will probably say she doesn’t like the pasta. You’ll have to listen to us battle it out in an effort to get her to eat. I’ve got about a 50% chance of winning.
We’ll all realize the sauce is bland and the pasta would have been better without the chicken. We’ll probably go to reach for the salt shaker but, alas, it’ll be empty.
So, would you like to come over for dinner?
You would? Ok, great! Bring chocolate. Lots of chocolate.